Apoca-lame

Using the fact that I am typing this as evidence that the world did not end yesterday at approximately 6 pm (Harold Camping never did mention if that was Pacific or Eastern Standard Time) - life goes on.

The day after the apocalypse I went to the grocery store, wore a yankees cap, and got some dirty looks. Nothing out of the ordinary. I feel like everyone should at least try to make this triumph over Christian extremism a little more special for each other. Is everyone really that disappointed we didn't perish in some shitstorm yesterday?

On May 21, I counted down impending doom; predicting a warm shower of meteoroids through the overcast San Diego sky, after ruling out the possibility of death by tidal wave, considering the coastline appeared normal. After I deciphered safety had arrived in the form of 6:02 pm on my phone clock (does anyone actually have a watch these days?) I ate some sushi off a miniature boat in a whirlpool moat at a bar. (Yay, cheap Japanese food).

In the hours leading up to what I ironically anticipated as the end of humanity (and my sushi date), I listened to my favorite R.E.M. song, cringed at the thought of becoming an Alien sex slave, and realized - the apocalypse wouldn't be the worst thing.

This is for a few reasons.

A) Selfishly, because at this moment in time (mere days away from graduation), I am full of nothing but hope and potential - and as any daytime sitcom will tell you, my life can only go south from here. Bad weather, a dead-end job, and an inexplicably fat, yet lovable husband. If this is truly what I'm looking at, this is the best possible time to go up in flames.

B) I don't believe in hell. (I said a fearful "just kidding" to the ceiling for each time I discussed the joke that is organized religion yesterday, but I'm confident in my findings today). Even if there was a hell, all my friends are going down with me, and if anyone could make it a party out of it, it's us.

C) If 2% of the world's population (theoretically the most devout Christians) really did get raptured into the sky, that also would be awesome. Those people are nuts (i.e. Harold Camping) - and the rest of the world would have a little more breathing room.

In all, I'm glad we're all (well, most of us anyway) still alive today. Should we learn anything, it is not to listen to cult leaders. But hell, what do I know?