Failblog

Recent Failures:

1. Hair tinsel. This is nothing new. Strippers have had it for ages. Even a Beverly Hills Housewife had it before you...

Really? This is what you aspire to?

2. The White Stripes. First of all, apparently no one but me was sad they broke up, and for that I might have to hold another funeral. They have been divorced since 2000 and just recently were unable to continue making music together. Thats longer than most divorced parents can effectively raise a child in conjunction, much less one of the greatest bands ever. Irreconcilable differences? I suppose that excuse will do.

3. Polyamory. Yes, that's a real thing. As a True Life addict, I was perusing episodes On Demand and realized I hadn't seen this fascinating story. Apparently, similarly to polygamy, people live as "couples" both bisexual and homosexual, in groups of no less than three. I always felt sorry for the "sister wives" I've seen on Oprah, but no longer. I have full reason to believe they are enjoying themselves after watching a particular "couple" add a fourth. They took him for a test run in a karma-sutra, yogaish, grunting and holding session.

Better than Bikrams!

Unfortunately, both love groups featured on the special were looking to add a fourth, and both crumbled because of it. Apparently three really is a magic number. (Tip of the hat to School House Rock, what would I do without you?)