Take that, Suzanne Somers.

Unsolicited advice...it's just that.

When someone gives me advice I a) didn't ask for or b) don't even like/know that person in the first place, it is not only obnoxious, but redundant.

Telling someone something they already know, but obviously don't want to hear is a simple act of stupidity on the givers part. If your coworker wants you to "go eat a sandwich" for the third time in one day, a response of, "Thanks, but I already ate yours, I figured you shouldn't," is not only a warranted, but courteous return of their "favor".

For some reason, people like to inform me - as if I didn't already know - that Diet Coke will give me cancer. (For the record, the evidence is inconclusive). If Diet Coke is the first thing in this life to give me cancer, l'chaim.

Case in point: my Environmental Science class. We learned about a way to calculate risk called Average LLE (loss of life expectancy). This method averages the years off all the people's lives that have died from certain things.

This method also, coincidentally, makes nothing look like a threat. Smoking cigarettes takes an average of 3.9 years off a female's life (sorry guys, for you it's 6.6 years). Additionally as my friend, Nicole, observed, the highest risk in this world is being born male. And of all the environmental pollutants we are worried about, air pollution is the highest risk - costing us a whopping 40 days.

I also pointed out that I need not worry about the section pertaining to environmental pollutants effecting my life, considering I ingest most of them willingly.

So no, I will not eat a sandwich, and I will never stop drinking Diet Coke. Go Ducks.

Yes, I realize it's backwards. 'Sup Photobooth.

P.S. If I wanted a running commentary on my life, I'd get a Formspring.